Panhandling

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp.


Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.


Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.


Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.


Jose says, "Look at your sign." It reads: "I have no work, a wife & 6 kids to support"


Carlos looks at Jose's sign.


It reads: "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico"

Godfather, Accountant, and Attorney

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant doesn't answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."

The Godfather says, "Well, ask him where the @#!* money is." The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the three million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you're talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where the @#!* money is!"

The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "Okay! Okay! The money's hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well, what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."